Written by: Roscoe |  Print this post and share it with your buddies!

Here at Club Roscoe we consider pizza to be one of the major food groups. One of the greatest foods of all time, Roscoe himself goes so far as to declare that if he were on Death Row and offered a choice for his last meal, it would be pizza.

A BIG FAVORITE
Pizza is usually on almost everyone’s list of favorite foods. Almost anyone you talk to will list it in their top 5. Why? It?s practically the perfect food, especially for guys. Think about it: you can eat with your hands, it?s sweet and often savory at the same time. You can put almost anything you like one it, and unless you live in some God forsaken part of the universe, you can usually get someone to bring it to you. Yes, delivery can be a wonderful thing.

BUT WE LIKE TO COOK
The Club Roscoe test kitchens are constantly trying new versions of pizza. And it never ends because there are so many toppings, and combinations of toppings, enough to keep us in business at least until the Super Bowl isn’t even popular anymore and it?s picked up by PBS as a diversion for retired Global Warming fanatics.

THE ORIGIN OF PIZZA
Everyone knows the Earle of Sandwich invented the sandwich, and this guy is revered by most thoughtful people (read hungry guys here) as a true visionary who changed the world. If not for old Earle, we’d be eating lunch with knives and forks instead of scarfing it down with our hands. And what would we do with peanut butter and jelly without the inspiration of Mr. Sandwich? A different world, friends, that’s what we?d be living in without the sandwich.

CLUB ROSCOE DOES THE RESEARCH
We are thorough, if nothing else. Well, that’s not really true. Club roscoe is a lot of things, and sometimes thorough isn’t one of them, but we did get to the bottom of it on this important question. After difficult and tedious research, we found out who invented pizza. You?d think it’d be easy: just go to an Encyclopedia and look it up, like anything else. And we did, and we thought we had the answer, but then the rumors started. Rumors about how the guy credited with inventing pizza, Antonio Pizzaolo, a baker outside of Florence, Italy, took the credit for something he never did. The encyclopedias tell us that Antonio was baking his famous cheese bread one day when he dropped some tomato sauce on it by accident, and one of his customers bought it anyway, liked it so much that he went back the next day to order more, and the rest is history. But we found out it’s not true!

PIZZA WAS NOT INVENTED IN ITALY!
No! Turns out that old Tony Pizzaolo was a baker, but he was allergic to tomatoes (you can get his medical history on the internet – you can anything on the internet). And not to take anything away from Tony P, but he only marketed the product. In fact, he wasn’t really a bad guy, even though he took credit for inventing one of the world’s great foods. What he invented was – delivery! That’s right, Tony Pizza (he shortened his last name for the business) was the first guy to send his pizza out to people that couldn?t find the time to go get it themselves. His sons were the first pizza delivery boys, putting the pies on their carriages and rushing them to hungry customers. The pizza wasn’t always hot when it got there, but Tony never promised that, and in those days people didn’t complain as much as they do now.

THE REAL INVENTOR OF PIZZA
You won’t believe it, but pizza was invented by a Pole. That’s right, Stashu Pizzakeiwicz, a baker in Krakow, was in trouble one day. It was lunchtime and he had to feed the kids, but his kids were tired of cheese sandwiches, having told him for months that they were cold and dry and boring. So he had to come up with something they would eat or have to listen to his kids complain again, and he was a little tired of that himself. So he took some bread dough, flattened it out, grated the cheese he was going to put on the sandwiches, and crushed up the tomatoes and spread them around on top of the cheese and bread. Then he put it all in the oven, and when the kids got there for lunch they all wanted to know what was smelling so good. Old Stash pulled out his concoction, gave it to his kids, who couldn’t get enough, they even wanted him to put kielbasa on it (the Italian guy stole that idea, too, only he used pepperoni instead), and that is how pizza was invented.

EASY TO MAKE
The point to the story is that pizza is easy. Must be. See, Stash wasn’t even that good a baker (his kids wouldn?t even eat his Pumpernickel), and if a Pole like him can do it, so can you. And once you start making your own pizza, well, you won’t put Dominos out of business, but you’ll have a lot more fun.