Written by: Roscoe |  Print this post and share it with your buddies!

THE FIRST OYSTER
There’s no real record of the first guy to ever eat an oyster. Just as well. Do we really need to know about some half-starved cave man who probably ripped his fingernails apart trying to get the darned thing open before he got so frustrated that he just hammered it with a rock until it crumbled? And then, what does he find inside but this slimy grey goop. He couldn’t have been looking for something to eat. He was probably out looking around for an ornament for his cave woman companion. You know, get the wife some shells, make a necklace out of them, or earings. If they had earings back then (they always had necklaces).

WHY DID HE EAT IT?
This dude must have been really hungry. Because let’s face it, he couldn’t have known how good it would taste. Or how good it was for him. But this neanderthal just looked at this shell full of slime and then slurped it down. No cocktail sauce, no horseradish, no tobasco! What was he thinking?

A REAL HERO
Maybe he wasn’t thinking at all. Maybe it was just pure primal instinct that made him swallow that mollusk. Whatever it was, we’re grateful. Think of a world without oyster bars. Who’d want to live in it? Even if you don’t like oysters, you’ve got to admit, going to an oyster bar is fun. Watching the guy behind the counter shucking oysters and making it look easy. Of course, you’re having a beer while you watch him, and that always contributes to the fun.

NUTRITIONAL VALUE
Aside from the alleged aphrodisiac effect you’re supposed to get from oysters, they’re really good for you. Full of vitamins and minerals, like zinc, copper, iodine, and lots more. All stuff men need a lot of. There’s nothing wrong with being healthy when you’re having fun. But don’t just swallow it down whole. If you chew the oyster, it releases those minerals and helps to get them into your bloodstream faster. And the faster the aphrodisiac works, the better, yes? Well, in certain circumstances, anyway.

OYSTERS ARE VERSATILE
You don’t have to eat them raw. Oysters Rockefeller is a great way to prepare them, baked with spinach, bread crumbs, onion, and cheese. But Club Roscoe recommends a different technique…

BARBEQUED OYSTERS
Actually, you can barbeque your oysters without anything on them, they’re still good. But at Club Roscoe, our goal is to take food to another level. So we recommend grilling oysters with a little hot sauce, a little salsa, and a little pepper jack cheese on top. Put the oysters on the grill, put the cover down (or not), and when the cheese is melted, they’re ready.

TOO SIMPLE?
Yes, it seems like it. But that’s the beauty of this food idea. And really, you can substitue whatever you like. There are guys all over the country, all over the world, probably even on other planets (yes, they have oysters on other planets, they must), grilling oysters with whatever concoction they can come up with. So go for it. Use your imagination. Hey, you belong to Club Roscoe, that’s what we’re here for.