Written by: Roscoe

Ingredients:

1 1/2 lbs ground turkey
1/2 link Kielbasa
seasoning: salt, pepper, smoked garlic, smoked paprika
Worcestershire and Cholula
Horseradish cheese
Roscoe’s Red Cabbage
Good buns (Roscoe recommends onion rolls)
Favorite mustard

Turkey Doesn’t Have To Be Boring

Yeah, yeah, it’s supposed to be healthier than ground meat, but as we’ve said before, we’re not the Food Police here at Club Roscoe, we make things that taste good. And turkey can taste good, as long as you do certain things. Like…

Mix It With Kielbasa

About a pound and a half of ground turkey to a half link of chopped kielbasa does the job. Mix it all together and season it – Roscoe recommends smoked garlic, smoked paprika, salt and pepper, and of course… Worcestershire and Cholula. Form your patties and toss ‘em on the grill till you get good grill marks on both sides. Melt on a couple pieces of horseradish cheese and toast your bun. What could be better? Well, maybe a little mustard, and…

Roscoe’s Red Cabbage Puts It Over The Top

If you’ve been around this site for even a little while, you know about Roscoe’s Red Cabbage. It makes any sandwich, or any meal, for that matter, better than you can imagine. So get the recipe from the archives, or pull some out of the freezer and top it on. Now, that’s a sandwich.

Now You’re Cookin’ With Roscoe

Written by: Roscoe

God’s Perfect Meal

There’s a reason The Earle invented The Sandwich. Yeah, yeah, everyone thinks it was a matter of convenience, the guy was hungry but he needed to get going so he put some meat between two slices of bread and hit the road, could eat with one hand while he was driving (wait, they didn’t have cars back then; okay, he was riding a horse). But that’s not really what happened.

The Earle of Sandwich Had A Vision

Let’s face it, even God gets impatient on occasion, so he gives us a little nudge to get things going in the right direction. No one had invented the sandwich yet, and it was past time, what with the advent of fast food just around the corner (time is relative, to God), and the Earle was one of the more open minded guys of his time, so he got the nod, and the rest is history. Needless to say, the sandwich thing caught on, and the meat industry will be forever grateful (let’s face it, where would McDonald’s be if people just carried around two all-beef patties, cheese, lettuce, tomato and secret sauce in their hands? They’d be in the napkin business, that’s where).

The Leftovers Are Sometimes Better Than The Original Meal

Hey, meatloaf and mashed potatoes can be pretty good, but nowhere near as good as a meatloaf sandwich. Same goes for roast beef. And brisket. And that brings us to the real issue…

The Corned Beef Sandwich

Sure, some prefer pastrami. Hard to argue that. But on St. Patrick’s Day we go for the corned beef.

Slice It Thin

You’ve roasted up your corned beef in beer and broth for hours and hours, you pull it out and serve it with the potatoes and cabbage and carrots, and already you’re thinking about a sandwich. So sharpen your knife again and get that corned beef as thin as you can.

Heat It Up

30 seconds in the microwave, don’t want to dry it out (unless, of course, you’ve roasted up your corned beef specifically for sandwich making, in which case you’re ahead of the game, and can forgo the microwave).

Assemble And Toast

Good rye bread, maybe marble rye. Then your favorite mustard (just about any mustard goes good with corned beef), then some Swiss cheese. Put it in the toaster oven, open faced, for about 5 minutes, or until the cheese is melted, then pull it out and finish it with some good cole slaw. Put it all together, slice it in half, add a pickle to the plate, and you’ve achieved (simple) perfection. It’s easy when you’re…

Cookin’ With Roscoe

Written by: Roscoe

Winters Were Brutal

You think it was easy to keep a cave warm all winter when they hadn’t invented the furnace yet? Sure, Cave Dudes invented fire right away, they had to, but it was still a major pain to get one going because the match was a ways off (a couple of centuries, to be exact).

One Good Thing Came of it, Though

Since it was difficult to keep warm, and activities were limited for the Cave Family because no one had invented the television yet, there were only a few things they could do to get them through a cold night, and the best one actually helped to keep both the Cave Dude and the Cave Babe warm. You’ve probably guessed it, the same thing we do today when we have a power outage and can’t watch TV. And the proof is in the population explosion every nine months after a major power outage. That’s right, more kids are born. Well, Cave Dudes and Babes did the same thing.

Spring Was A Happy Time

Whether they were happy about the change in the weather, or the new arrival of the Cave Baby doesn’t really matter (probably a little of both, though we’ll never really know for sure, because but no one was taking polls back then). But they had to be happy. Who wouldn’t be? The ice was melting and they could get out of the cave and do things. The Cave Dude could get his clubs ready for golf (golf was around back then, though they didn’t call it that – mostly because they didn’t have language yet – but even back then guys couldn’t wait to get out there and hit some rocks with the clubs they’d been staring at all winter). And Cave Babes could get out and go shopping. Oh, it wasn’t called shopping yet (yes, the language thing), but that’s what it was: women wandering about picking out new things for the cave, tired of looking at the same stuff all winter. Unfortunately for the Cave Dude, this was the precursor to jobs, because once you’ve got shopping, there’s got to be a way to pay for the new stuff.

Spring Cleaning Hadn’t Been Invented Yet

Yes, they had a lot of dirt, but that’s about all they had. No hardwood floors, no wall-to-wall carpet, and certainly no vacuums. They didn’t even have a broom back then (brooms were invented quite a bit later, right after floors). So cleaning wasn’t really a priority, though it wasn’t too far off (as soon as Cave Dudes got jobs and went off to work every day, Cave Babes had to have something to complain about when their Dude returned, so they invented cleaning, as in: “Sure, you come home and expect supper on the table like I’ve got nothing else to do but cook for you. Who do you think cleans this place all day while you’re gone?” Even though you couldn’t really tell, because, well… there was still dirt everywhere. But it worked. Pretty soon someone invented housekeepers, and the Cave Dude had to get a second job). Read the rest of this entry »

Written by: Roscoe

Ingredients:

Leftover pork chops
Leftover kielbasa
Cheese (Swiss or Provolone)
pickle
red cabbage or cole slaw
mustard
A good roll

What’s The Ultimate?

Hey, a Pork Chop Sandwich can be as easy as a pork chop between two slices of bread. It gets better incrementally as you add mustard, cheese, pickle, dressing of some kind, maybe cole slaw, or, in the case of Roscoe’s Ultimate: red cabbage and kielbasa.

That’s Right: Kielbasa

There are those that might quibble about a Pork Chop Sandwich with kielbasa not really being a pork chop sandwich at all. And those quibblers might have a case. To that we say…

Get Your Own Web Site

We’re Cookin’ With Roscoe here, and if you’ve been around any amount of time, you know that Roscoe believes in kielbasa, so get over it. And those of you that have been around even a little while also know that Roscoe is usually right (despite the hysterical claims of various ex-wives). Like Roscoe’s Trilogy (olive oil, Worcestershire and Cholula), kielbasa always makes things taste better (witness Roscoe’s turkey/kielbasa chili, or the world renowned Kielbasa Reuben, hard to beat either of those).

So Don’t Settle, Go For The Ultimate Read the rest of this entry »

Written by: Roscoe

Cave Men Were Romantic

Though it’s not very well known, because sappy greeting cards hadn’t been invented yet. But Cave Dudes always brought flowers home to their Cave Babes. And they’d pick them themselves, because, of course, there were no Florists yet. Here’s a little known fact: one of the first businesses to open was, in fact, a Florist. One day a Cave Dude was out job hunting (jobs, in fact, hadn’t been invented yet either, but this Dude had just gotten a lecture -lectures were always around- from his Babe about how he was spending too much time around the cave doing nothing and supplies were running low with no way to barter with other Cave Dudes, so he took off in search of a way to make it happen).

Flowers Were Everywhere

There were no cities yet, so fauna and flora were easily obtainable, growing wild pretty much everywhere, and the Cave Dude was trying to think of a way to get back in the good graces of his Cave Babe, so he picked some flowers (women have always liked flowers) as a peace offering. Then it hit him: he could kill two birds with one stone (a regular event for a Cave Dude, they were excellent marksmen with stones, that’s where the phrase came from) by gathering up all the flowers in the area (a monopoly, though unscrupulous business practices hadn’t been invented yet). Other Cave Dudes saw how convenient this would be (no more gathering flowers themselves every time their own Cave Babes were unhappy with them), and Florists were invented.

Valentine’s Day

Even though they didn’t know about Saint Valentine yet, the patron saint of lovers, Cave Babes were always unhappy around this particular time of year. They felt neglected from a whole season of their Cave Men playing football. Yes, there was football back then, except it wasn’t called that. It wasn’t called anything, really, because language hadn’t been invented yet, but Cave Dudes would grunt to each other and point to a rock whenever they wanted to play. It was more like Rockball. A form of Dodgeball, only with rocks. Cave Dudes loved it, and the season got to be pretty long, bringing them right to their own Super Bowl (of course it wasn’t called the Super Bowl then, anybody knows that). And this was a brutal affair: rocks flying everywhere, even hitting Cave dudes in the head. Let’s face it, the last Dudes standing were pretty happy, because, well, the ones that weren’t standing were either maimed or dead. And no one had health insurance back then, because Obama hadn’t been elected President (and they say Cave Men were stupid).

Cave Babes Liked Getting Gifts

Duh! They especially liked getting gifts because shopping hadn’t been invented yet (though this was imminent: as the gifts dropped off – a natural occurence in a relationship – Cave Babes decided to get gifts for themselves, and shopping was invented).

So A Special Day Was Set Aside

It wasn’t called Valentine’s Day, because Cave Dudes weren’t label oriented, they just wanted to live in peace with their Cave Babes until the next football season started. And, as mentioned above, Cave Babes were unhappy, a little moody perhaps, and let’s face it, they were withholding certain… favors. Not a good thing for a Cave Man, or any man, for that matter, which is why chocolate was invented pretty soon after.

The Tradition Lives On

That’s pretty much why we have Valentine’s Day, only today it goes both ways: women can buy men gifts, too, to show how much they care. Cave Babes did it, but their selection of gifts was limited. Mostly just different rocks to choose from. Then again, maybe things haven’t changed much: give a guy a rock today, he’d probably be happy. As long as his Babe doesn’t throw it.

Written by: Roscoe

Ingredients:

About a dozen good sized shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 can (8 oz) chopped or diced tomatoes
2 cloves garlic
a couple shallots, chopped, or 1/2 red onion

1/2 lb whole wheat cappellini

Pecorino Romano cheese

olive oil, Cholula, Worcestershire
Wine (red or white for shrimp)
Italian herbs
Red Wine (for dinner)
Garlic Bread
Ice Cream, berries, chocolate (for dessert)

Cook For Your Babe on Valentine’s Day

Any common fool can take his girl out to eat for Valentine’s Day. But if you really want to impress her, let her know that you really care and want her to know that you’ll always go that extra mile for her (whether you do or not, you’ve at least got to act like it), you’ll get a lot more mileage if you cook the dinner yourself (hey, this isn’t Restaurants With Roscoe, it’s Cookin’ With Roscoe).

Italian Always Works

It’s romantic, of course: simple setting, nice white tablecloth, or maybe the classic Italian red and white checks, candles, good pasta, red wine, sweet dessert. What could be better to get someone in the mood for love? (Besides winning the lottery, but that’s for another blog).

And You Can Do It Yourself

Turn the lights down low, maybe light a candle, put on some good music, Dean or Frank, and whatever you do, don’t use paper plates. You’ll be in like Flint.

Shrimp and Pasta

Don’t tell anyone, but shrimp is easy to cook. Sautee’d for a couple minutes in olive oil and garlic, it’s as simple as it gets. Add some chopped shallot or red onion, then some diced tomatoes, drizzle it with a little honey and sprinkle in some herbs, and let it simmer. If you don’t want to start from scratch, just use your favorite red sauce in a jar, no one’ll ever know (“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” doesn’t only work in the Military). And don’t forget, when you boil the pasta (whole wheat cappellini works well here), add a bouillon cube to the water, and some olive oil, Worcestershire, and Cholula, to make it taste good. When everything’s ready, dump the pasta into the sauce, mix well, then serve it up on a nice platter with some shredded Pecorino Romano or Parmesan. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by: Roscoe

Oughtta Be A National Holiday

Or at least the day after should be. Actually, that’s when you really need a day off, after you eat, drink, shout and smoke half the night you need about a day to recover. But no…

Gotta Have Good Food

Beer is mandatory, don’t even have to mention that. And some good bourbon and lemonade never hurt anyone, either. But the main attraction for any Super Bowl get together is the food.

Biggest Pizza Day of the Year

Every local delivery place lives for Super Bowl Sunday, and well they should, pizza being quite possibly one of God’s perfect foods. And if that’s what you want to do, go ahead, order up.

Roscoe Does It Differently

Here at Club Roscoe, we cook. Roscoe will put his pizza up against anyone’s (bring it on, Bobby Flay). But for Super Bowl this year, it’s another theme…

Chili

Yes, another staple of the Super Bowl. And there’s a good reason: you can make it ahead of time and the host can enjoy food, drink, cigars, and the game along with everyone else. Just leave it on low and set a ladle next to a stack of bowls, and let everyone help themselves. Maybe some warm, crusty bread to go with it, or…

Chili Dogs

Grill up some dogs before the game starts, put ‘em in a foil tray next to the chili, and let the magic happen. Nothing like a good chili dog, and we’re not talkin’ any National Coney Island here.

Chili Cheese Fries

Get out that French fry pan, roast up your favorite fries till they’re crispy. Transfer to a foil lined pizza pan (the foil makes for easy clean-up), ladle over some of that good chili, then sprinkle on some cheese (Roscoe recommends a blend of pepper jack and smoked cheddar). Sprinkle on some chopped green onions, then let it all bake in the oven till the cheese gets nice and gooey. Don’t forget the paper towels.

Appetizers

A Super Bowl at Roscoe’s isn’t complete without BBQ’d Oysters. Shuck ‘em yourself, or get ‘em on the half-shell (easier, duh). Drip on a little of your favorite salsa or hot sauce (Cholula?), top it with some pepper jack cheese, and grill till the cheese melts.

For Those Who Own A Smoker

Yes, some are more fortunate than others. For those who are, Poppers are the way to go. Otherwise known as ABT’s, these are smoked stuffed jalapenos. Stuff ‘em with whatever you like. Chili and cheese, chorizo and cheese, cheese and cheese, all guaranteed to be hit. Wrapped in bacon brings it to another level of goodness.

You Can’t Go Wrong

Whatever you cook up for the Super Bowl, it’s bound to be good if you follow Roscoe’s Guidelines. But hey, if you just want to order a pizza, go for it. You’re still…

Cookin’ With Roscoe

(Recipes to follow..)

Written by: Roscoe

Oughtta Be A National Holiday

Gotta Have Good Food

Or at least the day after should be. Actually, that’s when you really need a day off, after you eat, drink, shout and smoke half the night you need about a day to recover. But no…

Beer is mandatory, don’t even have to mention that. And some good bourbon and lemonade never hurt anyone, either. But the main attraction for any Super Bowl get together is the food.

Biggest Pizza Day of the Year

Every local delivery place lives for Super Bowl Sunday, and well they should, pizza being quite possibly one of God’s perfect foods. And if that’s what you want to do, go ahead, order up.

Roscoe Does It Differently

Here at Club Roscoe, we cook. Roscoe will put his pizza up against anyone’s (bring it on, Bobby Flay). But for Super Bowl this year, it’s another theme…

Chili

Yes, another staple of the Super Bowl. And there’s a good reason: you can make it ahead of time and the host can enjoy food, drink, cigars, and the game along with everyone else. Just leave it on low and set a ladle next to a stack of bowls, and let everyone help themselves. Maybe some warm, crusty bread to go with it, or…

Chili Dogs

Grill up some dogs before the game starts, put ‘em in a foil tray next to the chili, and let the magic happen. Nothing like a good chili dog, and we’re not talkin’ any National Coney Island here.

Chili Cheese Fries

Get out that French fry pan, roast up your favorite fries till they’re crispy. Transfer to a foil lined pizza pan (the foil makes for easy clean-up), ladle over some of that good chili, then sprinkle on some cheese (Roscoe recommends a blend of pepper jack and smoked cheddar). Sprinkle on some chopped green onions, then let it all bake in the oven till the cheese gets nice and gooey. Don’t forget the paper towels.

Smoked Oysters

Appetizers

A Super Bowl at Roscoe’s isn’t complete without BBQ’d Oysters. Shuck ‘em yourself, or get ‘em on the half-shell (easier, duh). Drip on a little of your favorite salsa or hot sauce (Cholula?), top it with some pepper jack cheese, and grill till the cheese melts.

Smoked Bacon Wrapped ABT's

For Those Who Own A Smoker

Yes, some are more fortunate than others. For those who are, Poppers are the way to go. Otherwise known as ABT’s, these are smoked stuffed jalapenos. Stuff ‘em with whatever you like. Chili and cheese, chorizo and cheese, cheese and cheese, all guaranteed to be hit. Wrapped in bacon brings it to another level of goodness.

You Can’t Go Wrong

Whatever you cook up for the Super Bowl, it’s bound to be good if you follow Roscoe’s Guidelines. But hey, if you just want to order a pizza, go for it. You’re still…

Cookin’ With Roscoe

(Recipes to follow..)