Written by: Roscoe |  Print this post and share it with your buddies!

The 4th of July happens every year. That’s a law. And it goes forward in time, and we keep celebrating it every year, with fireworks, usually, and hot dogs and lots of mustard and ketchup.

Cave Men Celebrated, Too

If it happens every year, then it stands to reason that it always happened every year: There was always a day that was the 4th of July, whether anyone called it that or not. Certainly, Cave Men never called it that, they hadn’t invented calendars yet. But they probably had a celebration around that time every year – cooked up some bronto dogs and at the end of the night threw their burning coals into the air, where they would catch nearby leaves on fire, and the whole jungle would start to crackle and pop. Cave Dudes thought this was pretty cool, so pretty soon they brought their Cave Babes over to watch, and that’s how the tradition got started.

Chinese Invented Gunpowder

Even though it wasn’t until the 9th Century that Chinese alchemists invented gunpowder by grinding certain elements together – kind of like how you make Cholula, when you really think about it – they didn’t know what to do with it until a few centuries later, when they used fireworks to scare away evil spirits. But that happened out of fear.

Cave Men Did It First

Cave Dudes were having fun with light shows so they could impress their Babes, and why not? Who needed a fire on a hot July night if you’d already cooked up your dogs? And there were no evil spirits back in the Cave Man days, because they hadn’t invented them yet. They didn’t even know there were spirits, because Cave Dudes were too busy trying to survive without cars or TV, and Cave Babes were too busy trying to get their Dudes to invent a washing machine. The Cave Dude got around that for a long time by giving his Babe jewelry (they always had jewelry), but eventually the shells he gave his Babe on their anniversary (there were no calendars, that’s true, but Cave Babes constantly reminded their Dudes how lucky they were to have met them, and so, to get their Babes to only mention it once a year, they invented anniversaries, which they promptly forgot, much to their dismay around a year later).

The 4th of July in the Good ‘Ol U.S. of A.

It’s a grand holiday, though many of us forget what it’s really about, and instead of remembering that the Declaration of Independence was signed that day, promising freedom for all in our great nation, we pig out on hot dogs and burgers and all sorts of other good stuff.

Speaking of Pig

The Pitmaster continues a tradition this year at his lake front cottage: a 4th of July bash, with smoked pork butts (16 hours, low and slow). Roscoe will be there with Red beans and Rice, some kielbasa to grill up, and a good time will be had by all, in the tradition of the Cave Man (remember: the Cave Man invented pulled pork; see: The Ultimate Pulled Pork Sandwich).

No Coals In the Air

Don’t want to start anything on fire, so we’ll have to settle for modern day fireworks instead of throwing coals at trees. And we’ll probably have more fun than those Cave Dudes, because we’ll have lots of bourbon and beer (which hadn’t been invented yet, but they were thinking about it, and wondering how to store it once they invented it, which is how they came up with the bottle; it’s kind of like the chicken or the egg debate: which came first, the bottle or the booze?).

Pick Out A Recipe

Go to the Home Page here at www.cookinwithroscoe.com and just click on one of the categories on the right, pick out something that sounds good (it all does, so if you can’t decide, close your eyes and point, just make sure no one’s watching). Get out the flip-flops, crack a beer, and you’re…

Cookin’ With Roscoe

Happy 4th of July

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-Roscoe