Written by: Roscoe |  Print this post and share it with your buddies!

Cave Men Could Cook

As noted in earlier blogs, Cave Men learned to cook by accident (see Cooking For Men, and More Cooking For Men). But once they got the hang of it, that’s all they wanted to do.

Not Many People Know That

Written records were kind of scarce in those times, as Cave Dudes were a little too busy hunting and building fires to write things down (it wasn’t that easy to build a fire, they hadn’t invented the match yet). Then once Cave Women came into the picture, they were even busier showing their babes they could hunt and build fires. Even back then image was important.

That’s Why They Invented The Apron

All those cliche’ pictures of the Cave Man wearing that animal skin thing that covers his privates and goes up his stomach and chest and over one shoulder: that was really an apron. And they had it right by using animal fur instead of cloth, because grease spots didn’t show as much (yes, they had grease back then; didn’t know that, either, did you? Grease has been around… well, forever). This was way before washing machines, and the fur was kind of wash and wear (more like jump in a lake and wear), so it worked out pretty well.

Cave Babes Liked The Apron

That over-the-shoulder style let them see their dudes’ muscles rippling when they lifted heavy animals onto the spit, and they felt safe knowing he could protect them from dangerous dinosaurs and such. This admiration didn’t escape the Cave Man, which is why apron styles haven’t changed much, though today only the most adventurous of us wear an apron without anything under it.

So the Next Time You Cook…

Don’t forget to wear that apron. Because even though we’ve got washing machines now, like the Cave Babe, your wife/girlfriend/babe of the moment probably won’t care much for stains on your shirt. Or on your bare chest. But then again, Cave Babes kind of liked the bare chest look, those muscles beneath the Cave Dude’s apron, so you might be able to get away with it. If you’ve got muscles. But who’s got time to work out and have muscles when we’ve got to work all day and then come home and cook for our babe?

So Just Wear The Shirt. And The Apron.

And remember: even though our lives may seem difficult at times, we’ve got it better than the Cave Man. He may not have had to go to a job every day, but he had to kill his food and cook it without a stovetop or an oven (or Worcestershire or Cholula). He didn’t have washing machines, or cars or even knives or forks (forks were invented after matches, and Cave Dudes didn’t have matches yet, remember?). And it’s still not known if their Cave Babes really loved them or were just using them for shelter and protection and food (wait, some of us aren’t sure of that, either, so that means another blog on: Who Invented Love? And Why?). And one thing is for sure: they were never…

Cookin’ With Roscoe