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The First Official Long Weekend

History tells us that Labor Day originated in New York in 1882 to create a day off for the working citizens, and they installed it on Mondays. This became so popular (duh) that it was made a federal holiday a few years later, 1894.

The End of the Summer

That’s usually what it signifies today. And that’s how we know Cave Men celebrated Labor Day, too. They had seasons back then, though they weren’t called that yet, mostly it was just sunshine and rain for a while (summer), then it turned to snow for a while longer (winter), then it started all over again, and they just sort of got used to it.

Cave Men Had It Rough

Their summers were pretty hot, but they didn’t complain (yes, complaining had been invented then, but mostly it was done by the Cave Women, who wanted to know where their Cave Dudes went every day, especially because no one had invented jobs yet). Nonetheless, they were happy when the hot weather was about to stop (they knew it instinctively, and a good thing, too, since there were no weather forecasters yet), so they decided to celebrate. They stopped hunting and fishing for one day and just lounged (there was always lounging, but it was kept a secret for a long time so the Cave Babes wouldn’t know about it and make them get jobs, which, as we know, came about sooner than later).

It Wasn’t Really Official

Because they had no politicians yet to declare it. And there were no calendars yet, so they really couldn’t keep track of it. But every year around the same time, just before the weather chilled, all the Cave Dudes got together for a big barbecue. Cave Babes liked this, too, because they could get together with other Cave Babes and compare outfits (this was how fashion got started).

No Unions Yet

Remember, there were no jobs yet, so there were no union organizers to tell the Cave Dudes that they weren’t getting a fair shake from their employers. But this didn’t keep the Cave Men from celebrating their work. It wasn’t all that easy putting food on the table back then (tables hadn’t been invented yet, but it happened pretty quickly, as Cave Babes wanted something to put the food on instead of just sitting on the ground in the cave while they ate), and even then, Cave Men had pride (there was always pride, it’s kind of an innate human thing, we just don’t feel it much any more because of the economy), so they felt entitled to pick a day to do nothing.

It Caught On

Yes, having a day off can get addictive, which our union leaders tell us is the American way, and they back it up about forty-two times a year, what with all the vacation days and sick days we’re entitled to now. But they never give credit where it’s due: to the Cave Dudes and Cave Babes, who knew it was really all about the work, even when you’re not doing it.