Written by: Roscoe |  Print this post and share it with your buddies!

There Were Always Dogs

Of course there were. Cave Dudes, Cave Babes, Cave Kids, and Cave Dogs. The nuclear Cave Family. Except it wasn’t.

This Was Before Pets

It was also before table scraps (tables hadn’t been invented yet, so how could you have table scraps?). Even back then, dogs were pretty smart. They saw no point in becoming a pet if there wasn’t anything in it for them. So they waited until someone invented kibble, then they let humans think they were the masters. Anyone who has a dog today knows different.

Cave Man’s Best Friend?

Not really. Cave Dudes didn’t really pay attention to dogs, they were so busy trying to figure out ways to catch big dinosaurs, on the theory that there was more meat on their bones, therefore better eating. They were right, of course, dogs being wild and scrawny back then, and very difficult to catch. So by the time man and canine became friends, well, let’s just say they’d invented chokers and leashes by then (though some were using them for different purposes when the idea came to them for use on dogs).

No Dogs In Caves

Cave Babes didn’t want dogs as pets, either, because they had enough to do to keep the cave clean (vacuums were WAY in the distant future) without having a wet dog shake itself out after every rain (and they had a lot more rain in those days, since Al Gore hadn’t invented Global Warming yet – come to think of it, they hadn’t invented Al Gore yet, no wonder Cave Men were content). Besides, there were no poodles back then, or little yip dogs (the little yippers got eaten quickly, no way could they survive the neanderthal age).

Dogs Were Sneaky

Every once in a while a dog would sneak into the cave when the Cave Babe was at the river getting a pedicure (there were always pedicures) and the Cave Dude was out looking for a job (who do you think paid for the pedicures?). The Cave Dog would look around for food, but there were no kitchens then, certainly no refrigerators, and most Cave People ate everything they had at any given time, because they knew it would spoil if they left it around, and they didn’t want to get sick because there were no doctors yet, which was fortunate, because they hadn’t invented health insurance yet, either (which made politicians’ jobs a lot easier – wait, they hadn’t invented politicians yet, what a nice life that must have been).

Dogs Were Patient

Dogs knew, eventually, they’d make friends with the humans, because instinct told them humans would last longer than the dinosaurs. And they were right. It took a while, though, what with all the ice ages and such (remember, no Global Warming then), but when the time was right, and the first doggy door was invented, dogs came right through it. Of course, by that time, tables had been invented, so there were table scraps, and then kibble followed pretty quickly after that. And then dog houses, and then kennels, and now, well, we’ve got PETA.

But Back To Food

This is a cooking site, after all, and besides us humans, who’s got more of an interest in the food we eat than than our dogs? So the next time you slip your pooch something under the table, or just fill his/her dog dish with kibble, remember: dogs always knew it would happen like this. They were just waiting for us to figure it out.