Written by: Roscoe |  Print this post and share it with your buddies!

It all starts with a beer (preferably Mexican). Crack it open, take a sip, begin:

2-3 ripe avocados (soft but not mushy)
2-3 garlic cloves (minced)
green onion (chopped fine)
red onion (chopped fine)
tomato (1/4 -1/2) (seeded and chopped)
cilantro (a few chopped sprinkles)
salsa
salt
pepper
smoked paprika
chopped jalapenos (optional)
cayenne (optional)
lime
Cholula
2 steak knives
1 spoon

Fate Steps In

It’s just a friendly neighborhood Mexican restaurant called Los Gringos Locos, in LaCanada, Ca. (fairly close to the Pasadena Rose Bowl, if you’re into geography, where every year a Big 10 team – used to be Michigan on a fairly regular basis but no more – goes to lose a football game). Los Gringos is always busy, because the food is so good, and it’s practically taken for granted. But a visit there one day changed Roscoe’s life forever. Sipping a beer (Dos Equis, maybe Tecate, it’s all hazy now), he ordered the guacamole and waited for the server to bring the usual bowl of green stuff with chips and salsa. What came was a revelation in technique that has stayed with him to this day. And now it’s time to share.But Let’s Digress Momentarily…

…to speak on a matter of philosophical import: The Willingness to Share. Quite possibly the most important aspect in any relationship, especially between a man and a woman. Without that Willingness to Share, any relationship will be doomed, from the seemingly casual lap dance through the most committed marriage. (Who would have thought a simple guacamole recipe could get so profound? But that just tells you how important guacamole can be, and hey, it’s Club Roscoe, anything can happen).

Okay, Back To The Guac:

Instead of the usual bowl of green mush, a young Mexican (unassuming, yet sure of himself, you’ll see why in a minute) pushed a cart to the table, laden with whole avocados and all kinds of chopped ingredients. His skill was obvious as he swiftly shelled the ripe avocados, dumped them into a bowl and squeezed on the lime.

The Two-Knife Technique

A sharp knife in each hand, he deftly scissored the avocado halves until they were tiny chunks. Then he looked up, pointed to the other ingredients on the tray, asking which to add to the bowl. A little onion? Yes. Red? Yes. Green, too? Yes. Minced garlic? Of course. Tomato? Naturally. Hot sauce? Why not? A few more choices and it was all mixed in, then it was done. The bowl was placed on the table. The Mexican Guacamole Master disappeared quietly.

A lesson was learned.

A legend was born.

Now it is shared.

You don’t need a blender, you don’t need sour cream or mayo to cut your guac. All you need are two knives, a sense of adventure, and the Willingness to Share (wonderful things can happen when you share guacamole).

Just do what the Guacamole Master in the story did. By the time your beer is finished, so is your guac. And you’re Cookin’ With Roscoe.